2 days..

til commencement! it's finally here...
bittersweet.
me -> jobless. moneyless. sometimes i feel hopeless.

BUT. looking on the bright side.
everything is for a reason. maybe i wasn't supposed to go to s.e. asia. have you heard about the crazy thailand stories on the news? haha.
God has a crazy plan for my life. no idea what is next. everything is unexpected- good and bad- but there is a purpose.
it's all a learning process.....the hardships make the future that much more promising and satisfying.

on another note, my mom was like you were named after your grandma. now you have to live up to her legacy. thanks mom O_0
i hope i can live up to even a fraction of what my grandma was and stood for. a model of perserverance and love. of the Christian faith and of an everlasting hope. she was so self-less. i really miss her. i never got to say goodbye which kills me inside. but she is in a better place and is not suffering anymore. you are resting peacefully with our Creator :) 5.24.09

tuesday. april 14th.

to think that in less than 7 weeks i will be graduating is kind of a scary thought. should i move back home? should i stay in so-cal? i'm being pulled to both sides by different things. i'm scared to financially live on my own. the working world seems so daunting. and everyone is like "STAY IN SCHOOL AS LONG AS YOU CAN!" if only i could. i feel the need to be financially free, to be independent and rely solely on myself for what i need. the mommy and daddy bank are finally closing after 22 long years in business!!

i need a lot of growing up to do, but in the meantime, i am going to let my youthful extravagance run its course. i have been extremely blessed in my senior year readjusting back into college life. it's been a lot of fun. kickbacks at windwood, santana's late night, beer pong, king's cup, K-Town trips, the list goes on and on. i'm definitely going to miss the freedom that college life gives. to wake up late, take naps in the day, and having only a few classes to attend. you are surrounded by friends and always are making new ones.

taking a step back from the hustle and bustle of life, i am truly grateful for everyone and everything in my life. yeah, i can be a bitch but you know i still love you ;] and don't forget that, even when i make you mad with the senseless things i sometimes (well, kind of often) say.

growing up is hard to do but it has to be worth it in the end. at least that's what i am telling myself!

never let the odds keep you from doing what you know in your heart you were meant to do.
-h. jackson brown, jr.